I'm preparing for a colonoscopy tomorrow. There are worse things. But I cannot say how many times I have had to remind myself that I cannot eat today. (Liquid diet until midnight then NPO). It's amazing how often throughout the day I have gone to put something in my mouth reflexively. As I was making breakfast and lunch for my boys, while I was cleaning the kitchen, and now as I sit at the kitchen table to write and there is a bowl of fresh-out-of-the-garden peas nearby the urge to eat has been a tough one to overcome.
The good news is that after 4 months of struggling to get food into my mouth past chemo-riddled taste buds, I am now able to eat. Slowly over the past few weeks my taste buds have been healing. Food went from being abhorrent, to just not-awful, to most things are alright, and now everything tastes good and I am out. of. control.
The last few days I have found myself eating anything and everything that crosses my path. It's a luxury and a pleasure that I have been missing and I am not holding back now. This is not a good for a number of reasons. First, sugar feeds cancer. Since I am in the business currently of working to rid my body of cancer this sugar consumption is counterproductive to my health and wellbeing. Second, I am diabetic and know well enough to limit my sugar and simple carbohydrate intake. Finally, I am rapidly gaining back some of the inches I had lost during chemotherapy. While I could afford to gain back some, it is the bloat from eating foods that are toxic that is the issue. I cannot afford to neglect the health of my body in such a way.
As I contemplate the blessing of being able to taste food for real and to eat without choking, I realize I must work to bridle this blessing. Bridle: to control or hold back; restrain; curb. If I do not exercise self-control, discipline and restraint here it will be detrimental. In order to do so I must plan. Before my diagnosis I had worked very hard to become structured in my eating and meal planning. I didn't hit the mark 100% of the time but I did a very decent job of it. Now it feels like a free-for-all and I want to allow it. It's time for a visit to my nutritionist.
I am thankful for taste buds that have been restored. I am blessed with returning strength. I am also very grateful for the lessons I have learned this go-around with a cancer diagnosis. I have learned so much about nutrition, my body and how to care for it, healing and wellness. Because of this knowledge I will make wise and healthy choices. I will bridle this blessing.
The last few days I have found myself eating anything and everything that crosses my path. It's a luxury and a pleasure that I have been missing and I am not holding back now. This is not a good for a number of reasons. First, sugar feeds cancer. Since I am in the business currently of working to rid my body of cancer this sugar consumption is counterproductive to my health and wellbeing. Second, I am diabetic and know well enough to limit my sugar and simple carbohydrate intake. Finally, I am rapidly gaining back some of the inches I had lost during chemotherapy. While I could afford to gain back some, it is the bloat from eating foods that are toxic that is the issue. I cannot afford to neglect the health of my body in such a way.
As I contemplate the blessing of being able to taste food for real and to eat without choking, I realize I must work to bridle this blessing. Bridle: to control or hold back; restrain; curb. If I do not exercise self-control, discipline and restraint here it will be detrimental. In order to do so I must plan. Before my diagnosis I had worked very hard to become structured in my eating and meal planning. I didn't hit the mark 100% of the time but I did a very decent job of it. Now it feels like a free-for-all and I want to allow it. It's time for a visit to my nutritionist.
I am thankful for taste buds that have been restored. I am blessed with returning strength. I am also very grateful for the lessons I have learned this go-around with a cancer diagnosis. I have learned so much about nutrition, my body and how to care for it, healing and wellness. Because of this knowledge I will make wise and healthy choices. I will bridle this blessing.
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