Choose Peace

I started writing this last June and decided to pick it up and finish it today...I was feeling overwhelmed then and while I have the opportunity to feel overwhelmed today, I reflect on the lessons I've learned and choose a different response.  I've formatted the entries from last year in bold for distinction.

After my mom was diagnosed with cancer and she and my father calmly chose to manage the disease with diet, exercise and a natural healing protocol I was at a loss. Any part of my experience with cancer has been to, as quickly as possible, get to an oncologist and get the chemotherapy ball rolling and schedule any surgeries that may be necessary while you're at it. My parents did not take such action and I was dumbfounded.  It felt like I was going to have to learn to really let go and begin the process of saying goodbye.

Since that time I have seen my mother's determination and discipline to follow a strict diet and live a consistently active life.  We have seen reports of cancer counts diminishing (to almost 0 at last count!) and have viewed scan results to show the mass drastically decreased.  It has been a journey of not only wellness, but of faith.
When you or someone you love is dealt a life-changing blow it can wreak havoc with your emotions.  Your world is in upheaval and you question everything...But this time was different.  My parents responded with such serenity and clarity and calm that I found the storm of my emotions diminishing to match.  I realized that in some respects I was even working myself up because I thought, "your mother has cancer, why aren't you more upset ALL THE TIME?!"  But as I made my way through the difficult first months after her diagnosis I came to a stark realization:

Just because there is drama in my life does not mean I need to respond dramatically.

Drumming up emotion because it seemed like the appropriate response to a situation didn't make sense.  If the waters of my emotions were tranquil and calm why was I trying to stir them up?  So I chose and do choose peace, as my parents have. 
Now it is I facing an unwelcome diagnosis. I am choosing peace on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis; following the path of serenity my parents have laid before me.  My journey down this path may be different than what it has been for them but I am weighing my options for medical care, treatment, etc and remain calm while I consider all information.  I am using natural means of addressing the cancer immediately while waiting to meet with specialists/surgeons at University of Chicago next week and the naturopath at Northwestern's Integrative Health tomorrow.  No matter what I learn at these appointments I have determined not to make a decision based on fear.  As my mother has instructed me from the very start of this process, "You need to go where the peace is."
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."  Romans 15:13.