I had a revelation today. Is that the same as "learning a lesson"? Because I definitely learned something from my 23-month old. I don't believe I even realized it at the time, but it dawned on me as I sat down to write tonight. So, here's the story:
I worked out today (day two-woot woot!) and since the Wii is in the basement I had to bring Bobby down with me. The twins were fast asleep upstairs and I had the baby monitor on. Bobby has a toy box in the basement and some special, larger toys that there is no room for in our living room. He had just woken from his nap and was happy to come downstairs to visit these special toys. But for most of the time (35 minutes) he sat on the couch and watched the virtual trainer and myself as we worked at toning abs, strengthening hips and thighs, burning calories. As I think back on it's impressive how calm and patient he was.
Fast forward 5 1/2 hours to this evening. The baby boys were both fussy and needing a bottle, holding and sleep. It is a trip, let me tell you, to feed two babies at once! It's more difficult when they both want to be held or rocked to sleep. The one in your arms is always distracted by the one on the bed crying and you're feeling guilty for leaving someone on the bed crying but trying to focus on the one in your arms...it's a vicious cycle. Thankfully it's not the majority of our life experience with these boys. But, you can imagine what a state a mom (or dad) would be in in the midst of all of this. So, that was me, this evening. With one in my arms fighting sleep, another on the bed crying. All of a sudden Bobby enters the room and yells at the top of his lungs, "BOB!!!"
Interjection: "Bob" as in Bob the Builder, yes. But, "Bob" could also mean Thomas the Train, Curious George or Veggie Tales. Since he can say "Bob" he uses that word for any and all of the shows he likes to watch. This is usually followed by a guessing game which also involves me asking if he means "Thomas?" or "George?" or "Veggie Tales?" I have to admit it can be frustrating.
Okay, so in comes Bobby and yells, "Bob!" which causes the little one in my arms to jump and the one on the bed to turn it up a notch (now he's startled AND hungry).
"Bobby!" I say as sternly as possible so he understands how important it is, "Please be quiet, your brothers are trying to sleep!"
With all the racket he probably thought, "Yeah, right, mom. Doesn't sound like it to me." Whatever his thought process, he persisted in his quest to have the television turned on to one of his favorite shows. He continued, "Bob. PEEEEEEAS." Adding the "please" with the hope this will help get him what he wants.
In the meantime, I've fed one baby and have him calmed and am now feeding the second. I try to reason with the 23-month old by telling him I shut the television off because he left the room. He had been watching Thomas the Train and had not finished the episode. This of course was NOT the intended response from me. Bobby clearly wanted action as he ran in and out of the room saying, "Bob. Bob. Peeeeeeeas. More. Bob." Irritated I turned the episode back on, helped Bobby on the bed with my free hand and finished calming the baby in my arms and put him in his bed.
When all was quiet I had a chance to process. What Bobby needed at that moment was the same thing the babies needed. My attention. He wasn't trying to be demanding. He too was fighting sleep and wanted to be held by his mom. During the course of the day Bobby has to sacrifice time and attention due to the needs of his baby brothers, and he is so gracious about it. And of course there are the times he's told "no" or "wait" because I'm doing something I need to do as well. I remembered how, just this morning, he had sat so patiently as I exercised. He played by himself so well and allowed me to do what I needed to do for myself. (Side note: it was so cute, I asked him if he was going to exercise with me and he said, "yeah" and promptly grabbed up his blanket and sat on the couch to watch.)
I can learn grace and patience from that little boy who is so gracious and patient with me as I tend to the needs of not one, but two baby brothers; the boy who helps with his brothers of his own accord and who picks up his toys without being asked. I hope to keep this perspective in my heart and mind the next time I find myself in the midst of what Pete and I like to call "the perfect storm". It would be easy to be frustrated, but instead I want to respond like Bobby would.
What important lessons have you learned from a child?
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